In Not Of

In and Not Of . . .?

“He told them still another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough."- Matthew 13:33 NIV

Ok.  I have been wrestling with this scripture for the past few weeks.  God keeps bringing this up to me in random spaces throughout my day.  Maybe I’m getting dressed or eating or even in the middle of having a conversation, I keep hearing this.  I think that after a few weeks now I am starting to understand what it means.  At least what is might mean for me and where I am at this point in my life.  The kingdom of heaven is like yeast. . .

What is yeast?  Most people nowadays probably don’t know what yeast is or what it does.  Who makes bread from scratch anymore?  Who has time?  I can remember a few times as a kid when my mom made bread or at least dough and I got to see yeast at work.  I keep saying that when I get some more time (yeah right) I’m going to make bread from scratch.  That’s right up there on my list with gardening, yoga and all of the other things I constantly say I’m going to learn.  But I like to try to connect better with biblical references if I can.  If I am going to use this book as an integral part of my faith and my life then I should be able to connect with some of the things that are possible.  Yeast is one of those things.  It’s still available and still does the same thing. It makes dough rise.  But it only works if you work it into the dough.  Having yeast apart from the dough leaves the dough flat. 

Jesus is saying that the kingdom of heaven is like yeast.  It’s like that thing that is mixed in with the rest of the dough to make it rise.  It’s like the stuff you cannot see but has a huge impact on where it is mixed in.  It’s like the invisible force in the middle of the dough that causes the dough to go higher than it would without the yeast. 

I’ve been struggling with this scripture because I have been trying to become more concrete on my own calling and purpose in this world.  I know that I am called as a believer to represent the kingdom of heaven here on earth.  But it’s hard to know exactly what that always means when there are always so many people who think they have it right.  I go back to scripture and prayer and see something that makes me thing that the way I was going about it in the past was all wrong.  This leads me to think that the kingdom of heaven is about a kind of integration without losing your power or purpose.  I think most Christians think about separation from society. 

I work in one of the most corrupt industries possible: Money.  And being a Christian and working in this industry will test your faith on many occasions.  I have often wondered if I was to come out of it in order to demonstrate my commitment to my God and the kingdom of heaven.  Can I be a Christian and be in a corrupt industry like this?  But recently I have begun to see that the entire world is corrupt.  There is no such thing as a pure industry.  Not even the church!  So where would I go?  I would have to probably be like the Amish and completely separate from society if I wanted to even come close, and even they cannot completely separate.  I can recall going out to Amish country for a client meeting and staying at a hotel where I met a man who was preparing for a sales meeting with a group of Amish farmers who sell tobacco to his company.  So they make a living selling tobacco to big corporations.  Nobody is completely separate.  And we are not called to be completely separate.  We are called to be in the mix and cause things to rise.  But in order to do that, we have to maintain our properties as leavening agents and not forget why we are here. 

I’m not in the financial industry to make money for my own consumption purposes.  There is a bigger purpose.  Sometimes it’s hard to be here and watch so much corruption and see the systemic evil that exists in this world manifested in the world markets.  But after 12 years in this industry, I can honestly say that I do not feel called to leave.  There is something that I am called to do in it, but not become a victim of its seduction.  They lure you in early with flexible schedules, high incomes and a lifestyle that most people envy. And if you are not grounded in who you are and whose you are, it is easy to become just another financial professional, selling the lies of the industry.  But in order to remain as yeast, I have to stay connected to my source.  And if I do, I cause everything around me to rise.  So even in the midst of corruption, the kingdom of heaven is still at work.

Maybe the answer is not to live your life trying to separate yourself, but maybe the answer is to live your life for God and allow God to separate you for His purposes. People will notice the difference and you will bring an aroma that is the sweet smell that is so desperately needed in this world of all of what the kingdom of heaven is on earth.  Jesus called himself the bread of life. He is what we are able to feed people if we would allow ourselves to be used in the midst of a dying and corrupt world.  But if we always choose to try to separate ourselves, we miss the opportunity to influence in the way that the kingdom is supposed to work.  It’s not about you.  It’s not about me.  It’s about God and His kingdom.  We bring the kingdom with us wherever we go.  We bring the yeast because God gave it to us to spread around. We are called to be in the world and not of the world.  As hard as it is, I think I will continue to do just that. 

Getting Out of the Way

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

            Every Saturday I play basketball with a group of women who live out on affluent suburbs of Philadelphia.  We get together every week and spend about an hour together.  I am the only one who lives in Philadelphia proper.  We play at a Catholic church where one of the women attends.  They are all such nice women and several of them are juggling both careers as well as family obligations.  I’ve gotten to know a few of them over the course of the last few months since I have started playing.  They are pretty successful but rarely ever talk about their professional lives while we are on the court.  During that hour it is just about basketball.  Then afterwards, we occasionally share more information about our personal lives.  Most of the women already knew each other, and I was the newbie.  This past Saturday as we ended our game, one of the women was extremely stressed out and needed to talk about it for a while.  A few of us stuck around afterwards to hear her get some things off of her chest and a couple of the women gave her some advice.  As I listened to her source of stress, I realized that what she is struggling with was not the circumstances that she was dealing with, but the mindset of having to do it all on her own. 

            She was a successful research doctor and was recently given another position in a different state.  Both she and her husband are in the medical field and they were preparing to move them and their two small kids to a new world.  The stress of having to pack up and move was one thing, but the constant thoughts she was having about things not going her way and messing up her children’s lives and losing her job and nothing going as planned was another.  And the latter is what caused her the most stress.  Her friends around her consoled her by saying that the worry and stress that she puts herself under is the main reason why she is so successful.  Because she will work hard, success will come, even if she never learns to rest.  I listened to the advice being given and realized that her issue was actually not related to her move or her job.  Her issue was that she thought she did it on her own.  If she did it on her own, then she has to maintain it on her own and as a result, there is a chance that she won’t know how or might mess it all up.  As I walked out of the gym that day, I wondered to myself, where is God in her life?  Does she give God any credit at all for where she is in her life?  Maybe if she did, she wouldn’t be so stressed. 

            I thought about the above scripture as I drove home that day. Jesus told his disciples that it was easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it was to get a rich person into the kingdom of God.  And I think this woman is a perfect example of why.  The amount of pressure we can put ourselves under in order to position our lives exactly the way we want it can drive us nuts! We do not possibly have the level of control we want over our lives because there are too many outside factors to consider.  But what if we are under the illusion that we got to where we are on our own and God was just some background entity in our lives doing what we want Him to do? Well, then that is a lot of pressure to put yourself under and what happens when you fail? But living as a citizen in the kingdom of God does not have that level of pressure because you recognize that all things belong to God anyway.  Our success, our failure and everything in between is a part of our journey, and it is a journey that God knows the beginning, middle and ending of.  We are actually pretty clueless until God clues us in.  But, amassing so much success on our “own” without acknowledging God can lead us down a road that ends in stress and sometimes even death.  Think of all of the people who commit suicide because of their inability to maintain control over their lives. I know a few of them. Or how about the strokes and heart attacks people get when they stress themselves out about a lack of control?  If you let go of having to control every aspect of your life and allow God to have His way, then maybe the pressure can come off of you for a while.  But you cannot see the kingdom of God if you are standing in your own way. If you want to play God in your life, then you have to be in control of everything.  However, if you want to let God be God, then you have an opportunity to let go of the need for control and you will actually see the truth:  God has always been with you.  It was not just you doing it on your own.  He didn’t start being God when you acknowledged Him.  He has always been and will always be.  The illusion is that you alone have been responsible for your own success or even failure.  But God is always there.  The moment we recognize that, then we receive the grace that He promised to give to handle whatever comes our way.  We learn to rest in Him and not to have to control everything.  We can truly let go.

            I wish I would have been able to say something to the woman on Saturday about her faith. Her other friends continued to talk to her about practical suggestions for getting things done.  But I wanted to tell her to stop and acknowledge the One who has made her life possible.  The One who gave her the mind to be a doctor.  The One who blessed her with two beautiful children.  The One who gave her a wonderful husband. The One who gives her life everyday. I pray for another chance to see her again before she moves.  She doesn’t even know how much God loves her and has already taken care of things, even when she is working to make them happen.  She can trust God with her job, her house, her marriage and even her children.  But she has to see the kingdom of God first.  And to do that, she has to give God the glory for her life instead of taking it for herself.  Only then, can she be free from the pressure of being her own God.