These Three Words

2/14/2011

These Three Words

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV

Ok so it’s Valentine’s Day. They day that people set aside to celebrate their love for one another. It’s cute. I’ve had some good Valentine’s Days in the past. I’ve had some not so good Valentine’s Day’s in the past. It’s a celebration of romantic love, although not historically accurate. At least here in our Western culture, we have used it this way. People get flowers and candy and spend all kinds of money doing special things for one another. (If anybody feels compelled to get me something, I like Resee’s Peanut Butter Cups). There are always Valentine’s Day specials at every store, even if it has nothing to do with the celebration of love. Valentine’s Day is big business. All of this to say I love you in consumereese.
But what I have found in life is that the words “I Love You” are sometimes very simple to say when you don’t mean it in it’s truest sense. It can roll off of your tongue until it’s time to mean what you say. Then it’s the hardest, most uncomfortable moment filled with anxiety. But after that (if it’s reciprocated) it gets easier to say. But there are three words that, to me, seem even more difficult to say no matter how many times you say it. And those words are “I Need You”.
To have to tell somebody that I need them makes me more uncomfortable that telling them that I love them. The word need opens me up to so much extra vulnerability and exposes me to more hurt, in my opinion. Somebody could take full advantage of me if they know I need them. They can use my desperation as an opportunity to hurt me deeply. And yet the truth of the matter is that we all need each other. There are probably not any truer words than “I Need You”.
I got this revelation a little while ago when I was having financial trouble. I knew that God had been teaching me something through my financial situation, but it seemed like I was about to repeat the same lesson. I thought the lesson was to sit and wait on Him to provide. That’s what it had been over the previous year. When I left my job, I started a business, and I had to have faith that God would send what I needed when I needed it. And He did. But this time it felt different. And I was frustrated with what He actually wanted me to learn here. Then it hit me. I needed to ask for help. I needed to need somebody else. And I didn’t want to do that at all.
We spend most of our lives trying to be independent. We don’t want to be a burden on other people. We like to have our own stuff. We will be happy to share what we have but don’t like to ask for help when we are in need. It’s much easier for me to say, “I love you” and share what I have then it is to say “I need you” and ask for help. But I do need you. And you need me. We need each other. There will always be times in our lives where we are in need of help from someone else. And this is how God designed us: To work together. Western society tries to get us all to be independent of one another, which is the complete opposite of how we were created to function. In this “I gotta get mine” culture, we are straying further and further away from the truth. I had to learn this lesson and am still learning it. It’s by far not easy. It’s humbling every time. But it gets me closer to living in truth, so I’ll keep pressing. So if any of you want to contribute to the “I Need You” fund that is my bank account, I will accept it with humility. Lol. But if not, then I still love you anyway.