Did God Say That?

Did God Say That?

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”
Genesis 3:1 NIV

In the past year, I have had to come face to face with what I believe about God. I can sing about Him being Jehovah Jireh, but when I am out of money, do I truly believe that it is He who makes provision, or will I try to handle it on my own. I may say that God is faithful, but when He takes too long to make good on a promise that He made me, will I doubt what He said. I may say that God is good, but when bad things happen to me do I still think so? Sometimes things come our way to test us to see if we are just talk or if we live by our true conviction. There are a lot of things that we can say about God that we have heard other people say, but what I want to know is do you believe it in your heart? Sometimes God brings us face to face with where are faith actually is and we have to decide what we are going to believe.
Several years ago God told me to start preparing to be married. It was out of the blue. I actually wasn’t even thinking about marriage at that point in my life. But out of seemingly nowhere He told me to get ready. But today, I find myself still very much single and I realized that I have a fear that I won’t actually get married. Even though I know that I heard God say it. Subconsciously, I have been afraid that it won’t happen. And throughout my life, God has always been faithful in leading me in the area of romance. People tend to think that I live some secret life, but the truth is, God always weeds out those guys that are no good for me. So most don’t make it beyond a certain level. He has truly been faithful to keep me in this area and yet, I still have trouble trusting that He will one day give me what He promised. It’s just because it’s taking too long. I was 24 when He told me that and today I’m 31. And through all of the clarity of Him telling me not to pursue anything with this man or that man, I still wonder if I heard Him correctly because it seems like He says no more than yes. But I have a promise. And this time is a test of my faith. Remember that Satan tricked Eve by making her question if God really said what He said. And so she took matters into her own hands and ate the forbidden fruit along with Adam. And here we are today, still falling for the same trick.
But if I can’t say anything about myself, I can honestly say that I know God. I know the voice of God. He has been guiding me as far back as I can remember. Even when I didn’t know that it was His voice, I can look back and see that He was there all along. And I know what I heard. I just don’t always believe it. I often want to completely ignore what I heard and just go see what I can do on my own. I’m cute, right? I’m smart. I get approached all the time. Maybe God is waiting for me to just go out there and play the field for a while. Maybe I should try internet dating. But no. If I go those routes, then it’s not even just the marriage thing that I am not trusting that I am hearing. It’s the voice of God I don’t trust. How can I trust Him in every other area of my life and not this one just because it is taking so long? *Sigh*
My faith is being perfected. I am becoming more spiritually mature. I refuse to give into the temptation of Eve and doubt what I heard. If that was a lie, then my whole life is a lie. I should have never gone to New Covenant Church. I should have never worked at TIAA-CREF. I should have never quit TIAA-CREF. I should have never wrote a book. I should have never made certain friends. I should have never bought my house. I should have never gone to seminary. I should have never had roommates. I should have never preached. I shouldn’t probably even be writing this blog. If God is a lie, then so am I. Everything in my life is a lie. When I gave my life to God for Him to use eleven years ago, I meant it. And so, He is my shepherd. He is leading me where I need to go. And I don’t always like the route He takes, but I am trusting that it is the best path. So I wait. In the meantime, He gives me all kinds of stuff to do so I’m not too bored. But every once in a while, Satan comes to make me question. Did God really say that? And it’s up to me to say, YUP!!! He sure did.