For the Love of Money

For The Love of Money

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” - Matthew 6:24 NIV

Today, I went back to school since being off for the summer. It’s been quite an eventful year for me. I went to Rome for a month, Canada for a weekend, New York for dinner, went to an Eagles game out of state, ate out at some pretty nice restaurants, started a real estate business, finished my final edits on my book and all of this happening while I am in the worst financial condition of my adult life. It is the most ironic thing in the world to me. I have never felt so rich and so poor at the same time. I love it and I hate it. I love it when I see God do something for me that only He could do. And I hate it when I want to do something that I don’t have the money for and have no real prospects of getting it.
I would have never advised a client to do the things that I am doing financially right now. Never in a million years would I have ever thought that the choices that I am making would be a good idea. Ever. I still wouldn’t advise anybody to do what I’ve done: Leave a well-paying, lucrative career in a top financial firm to go back to school to study how to help empower urban neighborhoods economically and spiritually; all after buying a house that was twice the size and expense of your perfectly good house; starting a business that helps anybody with their finances regardless of asset level or income; conduct workshops for people who can’t pay you; Write a book that will hopefully sell enough copies for you to make a few dollars. . . I could go on. I feel like an idiot most days when I actually think about it. And today, after talking to a company I owe money to about when they might get the money they are owed, I went from being in a really good place to being in a really down place. Just in a matter of two minutes.
I got some really great news about my book, better news about my real estate business opportunities and had a really good day in class discussing strategies to help empower the urban poor. And in one conversation, I was brought low. And it was driving home after that conversation that I got a revelation about the place that I am in right now financially and why it is necessary. I am breaking up with money. And breaking up is hard to do.
I’m a capitalist. My favorite game as a kid was Monopoly. I had my first business at 10 years old. I work for commission because I hate working for a salary. I loved money. I loved what it could do. I loved the feeling of having it. I loved the thrill of making it. I love the security I thought it provided me. I loved the joy it gave me when I had it. I loved helping other people make it. I loved giving it. I loved investing it. I loved saving it. I loved using it. I loved money. And if God is going to use me to build His kingdom, I can’t love money. I have to love Him more.
When you love money, even with good intentions, you can hurt people. And since God is in the people business, he won’t let you love money but for so long and keep hurting people. Eventually you are going to have to choose. And if money is winning in your life, then he might just let you go along until money shows itself to be what it truly is: A selfish lover. Money doesn’t love you. Money only loves itself. And since in intimate relationships, you become one with your lover, you too, will become selfish. Eventually you take on the character of money and it controls you and everything you do. It becomes the filter for everything you desire. It can overpower your will and make you it’s slave. Just like an abusive lover. It will use you for its own pleasure and then drop you when you can’t give it what it needs to thrive: power. As long as money has power over you and your life, you will always be it’s slave. As long as you consult your money before you consult your God, you will know who your master really is.
I have been breaking up with money for a while. We both knew that the relationship was going bad, but I didn’t have the courage to do anything about it. I knew that I had given money far too much power in my life and it was ruining my relationship with God. So God stepped in and gave me the courage to walk away. But every now and then I am reminded that I still have feelings for money. Like an old lover who calls you out of the blue. You moved on with your life, started to live again without them. Thought you were over them, until they called you. And that phone call sent you into an emotional spin that you didn’t even know was possible. You still have feelings for them. And you are not as strong as you thought. So you can’t just say that you are over them. You are still in process.
That’s where I am with my relationship with money. God is helping me to put Him in the place where money used to rule my heart. And I don’t know if that battle will ever fully be won in this lifetime, but I can do my part to make sure that I stay out of positions to give money that power over me again. When I look at what God has done for me without money, I am amazed that what I thought money would do, God did. He is showing me how to put money in it’s place as my servant, not my master. I am learning how to tell money what to do for me and not be ruled by what it wants me to do for it. And as long as I don’t forget that my God loves me and my money doesn’t, I will be in good shape. It’s remembering that in times of need that is the hard part. Y’all pray for me. . . As a matter of fact let’s pray together. I think we might all need help in this area.